swanqueenidiot:

Okay so the Colbert Report posted a link to the Ellen Page interview, right

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And I was already happy it was a fan favorite. But THE COMMENTS

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I MEAN

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IT’S JUST TOO GREAT

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ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND MAPLE LEAF

(via gay-writes)

So basically leaving the office early for the dentist is like skipping sixth period in school

1. Always have a water bottle in your car

2. Carry an extra lighter (even if you don’t smoke)

3. Get something new where you go to eat often, not just your usual.

4. Make a budget for yourself

5. But don’t forget to give yourself some play money and always round up on how much things cost so you have money left over

6. If you’re texting someone, but nervous to send it, just click the fucking send button. You typed that shit out for a reason.

7. Stay out late, but wake up early. You’ll be glad you had all of your day.

8. If something makes you laugh until your sides hurt, write it down in the notes in your phone, you’ll want to remember that later.

9. When you’re talking to someone, and you suddenly think of something you want to say, put up a finger and wait for them to finish talking. It’ll help you remember what you wanted to say, but you won’t interrupt them.

10. Go to plenty of concerts. Especially outdoor ones. Get drunk with your friends, but not sloppy drunk. Just drunk enough to scream your favorite songs and dance without feeling embarrassed.

12. Always keep a change of clothes in your car. Including a pair of shoes. You never know.

13. Keep at least $20 cash on you at all times. Gas is usually cheaper when you pay with cash, and not everywhere you go to eat splits checks.

14. It’s okay to be sad, but try not to forget about what makes you happy.

15. Coupons are always fantastic.

16. If you think something is cute, fucking wear it. Don’t worry about what everyone else thinks. You’ll look great, I promise.

17. Sex stores are fun, even if you just want a good laugh.

18. Plan out your days off with your friends, that way you aren’t stuck around asking the “I don’t know what do you wanna do”

19. Don’t forget to remind your friends how much they mean to you.

20. If someone gives you a compliment, smile and say thank you. They wouldn’t say it, if they didn’t mean it.

21. Drink plenty of water. Not only does it keep you hydrated, but clears your skin.

22. I know you might want to be tan, but is it really worth being burnt and exposing yourself to all that skin cancer bull shit? No. Use at least SPF 15. It’s not that hard and you’ll still tan. So stop being a brat.

23. You’re allowed to be happy. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

24. Aim to be better, not bitter.

25. Some days are better than others.

26. You can never over pack. Pack what you want. You’ll be glad you have options to choose from.

27. Take those extra hours at work. It’ll be worth it when you see your paycheck.

28. Clean your fucking room and make your bed you slob. It’ll look so much nicer and you’ll feel better you did it.

29. If you have to, make the first move. It’s scary, but someone has to do it.

30. Take plenty of pictures. Of the sunset, your food, your friends, your dog, selfies. Everything. That way, later when you scroll through your camera roll, you’ll remember everything about that day, good or bad.